Inform Yourself

My good friend Jay Niblick , founder of Innermetrix International, recently completed a study called The Genius Project. His study became the basis for his latest book, What’s Your Genius?

One thing he found common among the geniuses he interviewed was their concept of rarity. There is a large body of work out there supporting the argument that the more specialized you become, the more your chances of success increase. Specialization isn’t a new idea. Over two thousand and five hundred years ago Confucius saw the folly in trying to be too many things when he said, “The person who chases two rabbits catches neither.” Specializing in a niche area is one key to being very successful.

We’ve all heard the old mantra, “you can’t be all things to all people.” My work has proven to me that there is a direct but inverse correlation between the levels of performance one achieves and the scope or degree of specialization they have. Lower to middle levels of performance tend to correlate with broader scopes of practice whereas the higher levels correlate with higher degrees of specialization. In other words, the more you try to be, the less you will achieve.

The geniuses we've worked with are anything but generalists. They all specialize in a very fine area of expertise. Think about some of the professionals you know for a moment, like doctors, lawyers, scientists or coaches. In the medical community we see a clear association between “the best” and the degree of specialization. Medical professionals have created some of the most specialized levels of practice in any industry. The orthopedic community, a specialization in and of itself already, has developed specialists (experts) in the hand, sports medicine, spine, upper extremities and lower extremities, even those who specialize in just elbows. In law, already a specialization, you see a field that has fractured into narrower and narrower levels of specialization with tax lawyers, trial lawyers, defense attorneys, certain kinds of medical malpractice attorneys who focus on only certain kinds of medicine (to keep up with the hyper-specialization in the medical community perhaps). Look at Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking, both genius physicists, but a specialized kind of physics - theoretical physics (as if physics wasn’t already specialized enough).

Randy Haykin is a great example of a guy who understands the role that rarity plays in being successful. “I’ve always believed in thinking outside the box, thinking in ways that others simply are not, and playing where few others are playing. I like taking the rare perspective on things,” says Randy. As founding Vice President of Marketing and Sales at Yahoo! Inc. in the early 1990’s, Randy brought this appreciation for rarity with him from Apple. Randy summarizes his approach by saying, “I wanted us to be the biggest fattest fish we could be - in the smallest pond we could find.”

Anthony Robbins captures the same kind of thoughts on rarity when he talks about success. “One of the reasons I think a lot of people fail to achieve what they truly want is that they never direct their focus; they never decide to master anything in particular. In fact, I think most people fail in life simply because they major in minor things,” says Robbins. The person who tries to do everything, be everything, usually accomplishes nothing.

The more specialized you get, the more niche a market you create or serve, the greater the likelihood that you will reach the 5th level of performance will be. Why? It’s simple really. Aside from the fact that in almost every single category of life or business, specialists significantly out earn generalists at every turn, the bigger problem is that trying to be all things to all people fails to focus all of your genius in one targeted area. Like the light of the sun focused through a magnifying glass, the more diffuse the focus, the less power it has. The more focused that beam of light is, however, the stronger it is.

If, as a child, you’ve ever lit a leaf on fire on a hot summer day you understand what we're talking about. Spreading yourself too thin is basically futile. It doesn’t work, at least not very well. He who is a jack-of-all-trades is a master of none, and 5th level performance requires mastery. If we remember that the key to becoming truly authentic is to reduce your success’ dependence on non-talents, then by reducing the variables in that success you make this task easier. If you are attempting to be a genius at lots of different things, you will surely have a hard time of it. You might become adequate at many things, but not an expert at any of them. Even those who have talents in all areas or classes of talent, the rarest of patterns by the way, have non-talents. Everyone has talents and everyone has non-talents.

If you’ve been reading my posts then you know about the Genius Project which was conducted by my good friend Mr. Jay Niblick. You’ll also recall that your ability to achieve Genius Level (5th Level) of Performance one must rely on their natural talents and be authentic to oneself. This post reveals some of the side effects of being inauthentic to oneself.

The effects of being inauthentic reach far beyond simple performance issues. The more disconcerting aspects of being inauthentic are what it does to you emotionally and even physically.

Being inauthentic is stressful, and I don’t mean healthy stress (eustress) I mean harmful stress (distress). Being inauthentic in the first place is stressful enough, but the lack of performance that usually results adds even more stress on top of that, and when you look at what modern medicine is just now learning about the impact of stress on the human body (let alone psyche), the effects are startling.

According to Dr. Leon Pomeroy, who was the founding President of the International Academy of Preventive Medicine, psychological and emotional stress can gravely affect the human body in many negative ways. There are a lot of things that cause stress and a lot of factors that determine our ability to handle it, but we do know that being inauthentic, and having to work in an uncomfortable job, having to modify your behavior all day long, constantly having to apply a non-talent – is definitely stressful. If your job requires this of you full time, then the stress this causes you is chronic.

Such stress triggers an overdose of hormones like epinephrine and cortisol that, over time, can become toxic to the human body. Chronic stress negatively affects your body’s ability to regulate it’s own processes (homeostasis). Your ability to absorb nutrients, lose weight and even fight off infections are negatively affected. Even the chemistry of sleep is also disrupted by chronic stress, and sleep deprivation itself only aggravates the symptoms even more. Some common side effects of chronic stress on the physical body are:

• The immune system. Under stress, the body becomes more vulnerable to illnesses, from colds and minor infections to major diseases. If you have a chronic illness stress can make the symptoms even worse
• Cardiovascular disease. Stress is linked to high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat (arrhythmia), problems with blood clotting, and hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis). It is also linked to coronary artery disease, heart attack, and heart failure
• Muscle pain. People who are stressed often have neck, shoulder, and low back pain. This may be caused by constant tension in the muscle because of stress. Stress also affects rheumatoid arthritis
• Stomach and intestinal problems. Recent research indicates that stress plays a significant role in gastro esophageal reflux disease (GERD), peptic ulcer disease, and irritable bowel syndrome

Chronic stress can negatively affect your thoughts and decisions as well. Psychological
signs and symptoms usually associated with stress can be:
• Increased irritability or sensitivity to minor disturbances
• Feeling jumpy or exhausted all the time
• Difficulty concentrating
• Worrying about insignificant things
• Frustration and a feeling of something being wrong somewhere, but not sure where

According to Elissa Epel, PhD and an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco, “The problem lies within our neuroendocrine system -- a brain-to-body connection that harkens back to evolutionary times and which helped our distant ancestors to survive. Though today the sources of stress are more likely to be an unpaid bill than a saber-toothed tiger, this system still activates a series of hormones whenever we feel stressed.”
"These hormones give us the biochemical strength we need to fight or flee our stressors," says Epel. “While this system works fine when our stress comes in the form of physical danger -- when we really need to "fight or flee", and then replenish -- it doesn't serve the same purpose for today's garden-variety stressors.”

According to Shawn Talbott, PhD, an associate professor in the Department of Nutrition at the University of Utah, our response to stress today doesn’t involve burning any of these extra hormones that we create in anticipation of having to fight or flee. These extra hormones are created but not used up and this build up adds to the detrimental effects of chronic stress.

Granted being inauthentic is not the only cause of stress in our lives, but being inauthentic definitely adds to our level of stress. And the more inauthentic you are, the more frustrated you get with your results, the less fulfilled you feel in your work, and the less success you achieve – the more stress you will suffer. And that’s bad news for your physical health and wellbeing.

Take a moment now and look at yourself. What side effects of being inauthentic do you notice about you? Please post your thoughts, comments, and findings. You are not alone!

Now that you have committed to achieving your goals and have determined if you require an accountability partner to reach them, it is time to develop your course of action. Exactly how do you plan to get from your current location to “Your Blissful Life?” What course must you chart to achieve it? At first glance, this question may seem overwhelming. However, when you break it down in the following pages, you will see exactly how easy it will be. This course will lead you to your promised land. Also, you will enjoy taking action because you know exactly where you’re headed: to Your Blissful Life!

Developing your course of action is an easy process. It is much like planning a vacation. Everyone enjoys planning for vacation! If you are like most individuals, you probably plan a vacation every year. This process involves choosing a destination (which you have already done), planning how you will get there (plane, car, train etc.), how long you will stay, and when you will return. The best part about your current journey is the fact that it is a one-way trip! You are headed to complete satisfaction, in every “part” of your life. You can forget about a return trip. Once you are there, you won’t ever want to return to where you are now! Where you are headed is so much better!

To develop your course of action, do the following:

1. Select the part you will focus upon according to your parts ranking in my prior post Your Blissful Life: Your Discovery.

2. Review the desired outcome for the part you have selected. Now the fun begins.

3. In a moment, you will go forward in time in your own personal time machine: your mind! That’s right, one of your many hidden talents will allow you to travel through time in your mind to see, hear and feel yourself having already achieved your goal! Doing this very easy. You already have all the tools you need to experience it. If you like, have your accountability partner walk you through this exercise. Now get yourself into a comfortable position, such as sitting in your favorite chair or relaxing on your couch. The key is to be comfortable. Now, close your eyes and relax. Take a deep breathe through your nose, hold it for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth. As you exhale, feel how relaxed your mind and body are becoming. With every breath you take, your body expels all thoughts, worries and tension you might be experiencing. Take another deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly exhale again through your mouth. Notice how loose and free your legs and arms have become. Also notice how relaxed your neck and shoulders are. Take your third deep breath, hold it in, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Notice how relaxed your torso has become. Your heart rate has slowed considerably. You are now in a totally relaxed state. Enjoy how good it feels to be so relaxed. Your mind and body are quiet. Now, picture yourself in the future having already achieved your goal for this “part.” Notice how you look, what you are saying and that special feeling you have right now.

4. Take a look back toward the present, taking note of all that you have done to get where you are currently standing, having achieved your goal. What specific actions did you take? What specific thoughts did you think? How did your feelings about yourself change? What are others saying about you? Jot down your answers on a sheet of paper. Take note of every action, every thought and every feeling.

Now, slowly come back into the moment, into the present. Leave your totally relaxed state behind. You are now completely refreshed. Remain seated or lying down for a few moments until you are fully back into the present moment.

5. Take another sheet of paper and restate the items you noted in Step 4 above in the following manner: For each action you imagined yourself taking, restate it as an action to be taken. Review the notes about how you will think about yourself. Do you need to take any actions to begin thinking about yourself in that manner? If you noted a change in your thoughts about yourself, create an action item stating that you must start thinking about yourself in the manner you noted. What did others say to you? Do you need to create any action items from the comments they made to you or about you?

6. Determine which actions you took first in order to achieve your goal. You can rank them by numbering them in the margin. Continue down the list until all items have been given a number.

7. Repeat this process for a maximum of three (3) parts.

NOTE: Attempting to focus on more than three (3) parts leads to an unfocused journey. Individuals who attempt this path find they become lost and confused. Keep your action plan simple, keep it focused.

8. Once you have your prioritized Action Item List, review it with your accountability partner. He or she should talk with you to ensure that you are certain of the prioritization of your tasks. This where your accountability partner’s work begins. They need to hold you accountable for completing your Action Item List so that you can achieve your goals. You must verbalize to your partner that you give them permission to hold you accountable for getting what you want. They must also commit and verbalize to you that they will hold you accountable.

9. Set up a meeting schedule with your accountability partner. This meeting will be at whatever frequency (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly etc.) that you need in order to keep you on your path. The key here is consistency. You both must commit to the schedule and hold each other to it. During these meetings you will review your progress, discuss areas in which you may be struggling or need to learn new strategies, and what items from your Action Item List need to be moved to your focus area. I am confident that if you have successfully selected an accountability partner that is right for you, they will assist you in discovering what you need to do to eliminate any struggles, as well as discovering the new strategies you require to achieve your goals.

The above process assists you in developing an achievable action plan. As you move toward and achieve your goals, select your next part and add its action items to your action list. This ensures that you are always moving, always listening, and always feeling the power of moving toward your goals. Using this process is so easy because you want nothing more than you achieve your goals.

The single most amazing thing about this entire process is how easy it is to execute. The more you execute it, the easier it gets. Hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and month by month, your journey becomes easier and easier and ever more satisfying.

I enjoyed this part of the process immensely. Perhaps it was because my accountability partner had a prior background in time-line work and was very good at it, or perhaps it was because I knew I was laying out my course for moving toward and getting exactly what I wanted, just the way I wanted it. Whatever the reason, I had fun with it. The most amazing things about the process for me were how easy it was to imagine myself in the future having already achieved my goals and how clearly defined the path was that I had taken to achieve it when I looked back to where I had been. I believe that the reason it was so easy for me to move into the future to see, hear and feel me already having achieved my goals is because I wanted them so deeply, so badly, so much more than anything else in the world that my mind and deep inner self wanted me to experience this more than my own conscious mind could provide. My subconscious mind was just waiting for me to give it permission to go there. I had to move my conscious mind aside and allow my subconscious mind to explore. Once there, and looking back to where I had been, I could see so clearly exactly what I had done to get where I wanted to be. My accountability partner noted all of these items as I noted and described them to him. This became the basis for my action plan. It was so easy. I couldn’t believe it! I had struggled with all of this for so many years and, finally, right there in front of me, there it was! An “Ah-Ha!” moment for me for sure!

Once I came down off my “Ah-Ha” cloud, my accountability partner and I developed my Action Item List. I couldn’t wait to get moving. I had waited for so long. My issue, just like so many others, is that I wanted everything to get done yesterday. What I soon realized is that everything had to be done in order. The reason is that you—just as I did—will learn something on each step of the journey. The lessons learned while completing my current action items put me into proper alignment for moving forward. This ensures that, at each step, you have exactly what you need in order to succeed! I could not rush the process. I quickly learned to slow down and enjoy the journey because it held many experiences and lessons that I needed to learn in order to get what I want. So don’t rush it. Live each moment, taking away all that you can, learning all that you need. You will succeed.

Now that you understand “the struggle” you are experiencing, you must accept it, unconditionally, with all you heart and soul. Embrace your struggle. It is one of the things about yourself that makes you a unique individual. Millions of people around the world, just like you, are currently in the process of, have in the past, or will experience similar thoughts, feelings, and views. Inevitably, everyone at one time or another will deal with “the struggle”. For generations, many people denied their struggle. They live life frustrated, angry, depressed, uncertain, lonely, etc., These are just a few examples of someone not dealing with the struggle. Had they been informed they could have changed their lives to be much more useful for themselves. Perhaps they would be rejoicing today, living every day to its fullest, and being certain of exactly where they are going and what they will.

Your thoughts, feelings, and views are not good or bad, right or wrong. They simply are what they are, your thoughts, feelings, and views. Acceptance of your thoughts, feelings, and views, at this point, is a key component in your moving forward and discovering “Your Blissful Life.

Refuse to judge yourself. When we judge ourselves, we base all of our judgments on another’s or society’s standards. Standards that you may agree with, or not! These standards may be more or less useful for you. We have all learned and used these external standards of right, wrong, good, bad, or even the thoughts, feelings, or views that you should have at this point in your life. We then use them to determine our own internal happiness or blissfulness. However, when we refuse to judge ourselves, we can accept ourselves for who and what we are, unconditionally. When we truly accept ourselves, we then begin to truly love ourselves, to embrace ourselves, only then can we begin to truly improve ourselves.

It is OK to be dealing with the struggle. Accept you for who and what you are at this point in your life. You have experienced many events, thoughts, and feelings in arriving here. Enjoy your unique position on earth.

For me, while I had recognized my difference or uniqueness at an early age, I learned to suppress it in order to fit in with everyone else and society in general. I learned and mastered how to operate in their world. However, without my realizing it, my sub-conscious mind was not letting go of it. No matter how far I repressed it or how successful I was operating in their world, it was still with me. I had sub-consciously learned to operate and be successful in their world. However, it was not my definition of success. Mine was much larger and more impactful. It was not until the a-ha moment while standing in my office did I realize how really important my uniqueness was to me! It was at the moment I decided to embrace my uniqueness and gave myself permission to encourage and nurture this uniqueness that I finally had truly totally accepted myself. All these years, some forty of them, had led me to this place, this moment of total acceptance. This moment was the single most empowering moment of my life to this point.

Take a moment now and complete the exercise that will help you to truly accept yourself for you and what you are today.

Write a note to yourself explaining to yourself how you now accept your struggle.

What does your acceptance give you?

What are you now able to hear, see, or feel that you could not prior to starting your journey?

What will your total acceptance of your struggle enable you to do in working your way through the process of discovering Your Blissful Life?

You are probbaly asking yourself, "what in the world is he talking about, get outside to go inside?". Please read on and explore the thought.

Most of us operate on a daily basis within a certain space, be it in our professional or private lives. As a result, we see, hear, feel, and think about our world in repetitive patterns. While our world changes to a certain degree everyday, it remains within a larger pattern that is fairly consistent. Why? Because we are creatures of habit. We enjoy the security of our patterns because we pretty much know what we will get everytime. Our patterns act as a safety net for us. While these patterns keep us safe, they may also be preventing us from reaching your goals both professionally nad personally!

"Get Outside" means to step outside our common patterns of sight, sound, feelings, and thoughts. If your liek most people, you typically deal with daily challenges in our offices, cars, or homes. We pretty much deal with them the same way every time. How has that served you? Do you repeat the same actions all of the time? Are you continuing to make steady progress and growth? If not, get outside! You will be amazed how this simple little change will change the way you see, hear, feel, and think about your challenge! The simple act of "getting outside" will anable you to change your patterns. You will experience your world in a whole new way.

"Getting oustide" enables you to "Go Inside" yourself and tap all of your resources! When you get outide, you leave your patern behind. This enables you to "go inside" yourself and tap the many resources that you have yet rarely utilize. They are within you, just waiting to be called upon to assist you, everyday! Do you permit yourself to tap all of your resources? Do you permit yourself to "get outside" your pattern so you may grow?

When we exit our daily patterns we experience our worlds in a new way. As a result,we learn and grow everyday. This makes us more and more powerful everyday. It also makes us more resourceful everyday as we develop ourselves and hone our unique skills and abilities everyday.

So, I challenge you to "get outside to go inside"!