Inform Yourself

Your Achievement is in every step you make while in route to your goals. Every step, every move, every feeling you experience should be recognized and celebrated. If you have moved in any manner whatsoever, you have achieved! You are moving, growing and expanding yourself and this is significant for you!

Celebrating your achievements is extremely important to your continued success and progress. So, how should you celebrate your success? I recommend selecting a thing or place that puts you on top of the world. Something you enjoy more than anything else. Reward yourself! You’ve earned it! The more you reward yourself for your successes, the more this feeling will be associated with moving toward achieving your goals. This awesome feeling becomes so desirous that you will move toward it again and again, closer and closer, achieving more and more goals. You will amaze yourself how quickly and easily you move toward “Your Blissful Life.”

Think of your achievements as likened to carrots for a racehorse. The reward is more than worth the journey! What could be more rewarding than achieving “Your Blissful Life?”

Imagine how you will feel when you reach your personal pot of gold, your Emerald City, your apex! Others will watch in total amazement as they see you transition toward who you want to be and where you want to go.

I rewarded myself in numerous ways throughout my journey. For smaller accomplishments, I rewarded myself with a nice gift. This would typically be something that I wanted but might not normally purchase for myself. These items ranged from dinner at a nice restaurant to buying CDs or MP3s that I had wanted for a while. Sometimes I simply gave myself permission to take an afternoon off to go enjoy the park or the lake, the bonus to this reward being that I typically do my most focused thinking and deepest reflection when I connect with nature. For larger accomplishments, I rewarded myself with larger items. Not necessarily larger in price, but larger in terms if importance to me. Sometimes I would go camping for a weekend at near Ohio’s Lake Erie Islands. Other times, I would take time off and simply lie round by the pool for the weekend. It didn’t matter what the reward was, as long as it was enjoyable and important to me. I deserved the reward: I had worked hard, I had allowed myself to be open to growth and experience, and I had moved along my path toward my ultimate goal, “My Blissful Life.” Reward yourself, you’ve earned it!

Now that you have committed to achieving your goals and have determined if you require an accountability partner to reach them, it is time to develop your course of action. Exactly how do you plan to get from your current location to “Your Blissful Life?” What course must you chart to achieve it? At first glance, this question may seem overwhelming. However, when you break it down in the following pages, you will see exactly how easy it will be. This course will lead you to your promised land. Also, you will enjoy taking action because you know exactly where you’re headed: to Your Blissful Life!

Developing your course of action is an easy process. It is much like planning a vacation. Everyone enjoys planning for vacation! If you are like most individuals, you probably plan a vacation every year. This process involves choosing a destination (which you have already done), planning how you will get there (plane, car, train etc.), how long you will stay, and when you will return. The best part about your current journey is the fact that it is a one-way trip! You are headed to complete satisfaction, in every “part” of your life. You can forget about a return trip. Once you are there, you won’t ever want to return to where you are now! Where you are headed is so much better!

To develop your course of action, do the following:

1. Select the part you will focus upon according to your parts ranking in my prior post Your Blissful Life: Your Discovery.

2. Review the desired outcome for the part you have selected. Now the fun begins.

3. In a moment, you will go forward in time in your own personal time machine: your mind! That’s right, one of your many hidden talents will allow you to travel through time in your mind to see, hear and feel yourself having already achieved your goal! Doing this very easy. You already have all the tools you need to experience it. If you like, have your accountability partner walk you through this exercise. Now get yourself into a comfortable position, such as sitting in your favorite chair or relaxing on your couch. The key is to be comfortable. Now, close your eyes and relax. Take a deep breathe through your nose, hold it for a few seconds and slowly exhale through your mouth. As you exhale, feel how relaxed your mind and body are becoming. With every breath you take, your body expels all thoughts, worries and tension you might be experiencing. Take another deep breath through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly exhale again through your mouth. Notice how loose and free your legs and arms have become. Also notice how relaxed your neck and shoulders are. Take your third deep breath, hold it in, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Notice how relaxed your torso has become. Your heart rate has slowed considerably. You are now in a totally relaxed state. Enjoy how good it feels to be so relaxed. Your mind and body are quiet. Now, picture yourself in the future having already achieved your goal for this “part.” Notice how you look, what you are saying and that special feeling you have right now.

4. Take a look back toward the present, taking note of all that you have done to get where you are currently standing, having achieved your goal. What specific actions did you take? What specific thoughts did you think? How did your feelings about yourself change? What are others saying about you? Jot down your answers on a sheet of paper. Take note of every action, every thought and every feeling.

Now, slowly come back into the moment, into the present. Leave your totally relaxed state behind. You are now completely refreshed. Remain seated or lying down for a few moments until you are fully back into the present moment.

5. Take another sheet of paper and restate the items you noted in Step 4 above in the following manner: For each action you imagined yourself taking, restate it as an action to be taken. Review the notes about how you will think about yourself. Do you need to take any actions to begin thinking about yourself in that manner? If you noted a change in your thoughts about yourself, create an action item stating that you must start thinking about yourself in the manner you noted. What did others say to you? Do you need to create any action items from the comments they made to you or about you?

6. Determine which actions you took first in order to achieve your goal. You can rank them by numbering them in the margin. Continue down the list until all items have been given a number.

7. Repeat this process for a maximum of three (3) parts.

NOTE: Attempting to focus on more than three (3) parts leads to an unfocused journey. Individuals who attempt this path find they become lost and confused. Keep your action plan simple, keep it focused.

8. Once you have your prioritized Action Item List, review it with your accountability partner. He or she should talk with you to ensure that you are certain of the prioritization of your tasks. This where your accountability partner’s work begins. They need to hold you accountable for completing your Action Item List so that you can achieve your goals. You must verbalize to your partner that you give them permission to hold you accountable for getting what you want. They must also commit and verbalize to you that they will hold you accountable.

9. Set up a meeting schedule with your accountability partner. This meeting will be at whatever frequency (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly etc.) that you need in order to keep you on your path. The key here is consistency. You both must commit to the schedule and hold each other to it. During these meetings you will review your progress, discuss areas in which you may be struggling or need to learn new strategies, and what items from your Action Item List need to be moved to your focus area. I am confident that if you have successfully selected an accountability partner that is right for you, they will assist you in discovering what you need to do to eliminate any struggles, as well as discovering the new strategies you require to achieve your goals.

The above process assists you in developing an achievable action plan. As you move toward and achieve your goals, select your next part and add its action items to your action list. This ensures that you are always moving, always listening, and always feeling the power of moving toward your goals. Using this process is so easy because you want nothing more than you achieve your goals.

The single most amazing thing about this entire process is how easy it is to execute. The more you execute it, the easier it gets. Hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and month by month, your journey becomes easier and easier and ever more satisfying.

I enjoyed this part of the process immensely. Perhaps it was because my accountability partner had a prior background in time-line work and was very good at it, or perhaps it was because I knew I was laying out my course for moving toward and getting exactly what I wanted, just the way I wanted it. Whatever the reason, I had fun with it. The most amazing things about the process for me were how easy it was to imagine myself in the future having already achieved my goals and how clearly defined the path was that I had taken to achieve it when I looked back to where I had been. I believe that the reason it was so easy for me to move into the future to see, hear and feel me already having achieved my goals is because I wanted them so deeply, so badly, so much more than anything else in the world that my mind and deep inner self wanted me to experience this more than my own conscious mind could provide. My subconscious mind was just waiting for me to give it permission to go there. I had to move my conscious mind aside and allow my subconscious mind to explore. Once there, and looking back to where I had been, I could see so clearly exactly what I had done to get where I wanted to be. My accountability partner noted all of these items as I noted and described them to him. This became the basis for my action plan. It was so easy. I couldn’t believe it! I had struggled with all of this for so many years and, finally, right there in front of me, there it was! An “Ah-Ha!” moment for me for sure!

Once I came down off my “Ah-Ha” cloud, my accountability partner and I developed my Action Item List. I couldn’t wait to get moving. I had waited for so long. My issue, just like so many others, is that I wanted everything to get done yesterday. What I soon realized is that everything had to be done in order. The reason is that you—just as I did—will learn something on each step of the journey. The lessons learned while completing my current action items put me into proper alignment for moving forward. This ensures that, at each step, you have exactly what you need in order to succeed! I could not rush the process. I quickly learned to slow down and enjoy the journey because it held many experiences and lessons that I needed to learn in order to get what I want. So don’t rush it. Live each moment, taking away all that you can, learning all that you need. You will succeed.

Now that you have specifically defined your blissful life, you must take the first step in the walk toward what you want. This step toward the life you desire so greatly requires making a personal commitment to achieving it. Doing this is much more than simply stating you are committed to achieving it. You must execute a personal contract with yourself. A personal contract is your way of promising yourself and documenting exactly what you are going to do and when you will do it. Stating your goal is dreaming, writing them down and committing to them using your personal contract is called goal setting.

Signing your personal contract clearly states that you are committed to achieving your blissful life. You will overcome all obstacles and roadblocks, regardless of origin, in achieving your blissful life. Many studies over the years have shown that those who write down and personally commit to their goals achieve more than 80% of the time, versus those who merely state their goals.

So, whom should you share your personal contract with to ensure you achieve your goal? This is a great question. No matter who you share it with, you must be willing to permit them to hold you accountable for reaching your stated goals that will enable you to achieve your blissful life. This person will be your accountability partner for the journey. They, too, must be willing to tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. Their job in this process is to assist you, using any means necessary, in reaching your goal. Sometimes that means encouragement, at other times a good kick in the seat of the pants. This is the reason that most people prefer a complete stranger as their accountability partner rather than a family member or friend. In either case, you must give them permission to hold you accountable for reaching your goals.

The accountability partner I chose was a coach who I had come to know through my discovery phase. I wanted someone who would be willing to kick me if necessary, and yet still be supportive of my efforts. This individual was the perfect person to do this for me. We worked out an arrangement that would compensate them for their time and was affordable for myself. It was at this moment that I finally had committed myself to achieving my blissful life. Up until this moment, I had merely done lip service to achieving it. The journey to your blissful life can be fun and exciting, while at other times it will be difficult. My accountability partner really helped me through those difficult times.

If you select accountability partner and the relationship isn’t working for you, don’t worry. Just let your accountability partner know that the fit isn’t what you need it to be. The two of you can adjust how you are working together, or perhaps you can even find a new accountability partner. This is a very common occurrence. The fact that the relationship needs to be adjusted or another accountability partner chosen does not reflect on either one of you. It merely demonstrates that you need a partner that is more useful for you. This is the same reason that some people drive red cars, other drive blue ones, and still others drive yellow ones. Neither is better than the other, they are just different. It’s okay!

I initially attempted to execute my personal contract by myself. What I found was that I was constantly finding myself off-track. Why? There are many reasons. It is very easy to do because of your comfort with your existing patterns or habits. You see, as you begin executing your personal contract, you are re-training yourself. My tendency was to go back to what I knew, to what was easy and safe. Unfortunately, it was not what I wanted! It was at this point that I realized I needed assistance in achieving my blissful life. I immediately began my search for assistance.

The first step in this search was to make a list for the type of person I needed. Just like buying a car, you have to know what you want before you can go shopping. If you don’t, they all look alike and you end up more confused than before you left the house. The same is true of coaches. If you don’t make a list for the type of accountability partner you need, you will get confused very quickly. Here is how I determined what type of accountability partner I needed:

The first step was to identify in myself the times when I tended to move toward my old unwanted patterns. I then noted what behaviors I was seemingly repeating. I also noted what goal the behaviors were preventing me from achieving. Next to each behavior, I noted how it was preventing me from reaching my goal. I then noted what I needed from an accountability partner that would prevent me from repeating my unwanted behavior. The third step was to take all of the required action items of the accountability partner and listed them on a single sheet of paper. This became my list of requirements for finding an accountability partner. I now had a list by which I could measure each potential partner.

I could now begin my search. I reviewed a list of family and friends. However, when I reviewed what I wanted and, more importantly, what I needed, I felt it best to look outside this circle. I then reviewed my network contacts. My network included many local coaches who are all very talented, each in their own unique way. I then listed out each coach’s unique talents and abilities as I saw them. Some of them matched up nicely with my list. However, my intuition was telling me that I needed to look outside of this group as well. I have learned to trust my intuition because it is never wrong—neither is yours. It comes from deep within oneself and is always striving to protect and guide you. As a result, I eliminated the local coaches with whom I already had a relationship. I then developed a list of individuals outside of my local area with whom I had some prior contact. It did not matter that I had interacted with them on a completely different level. It only mattered that I believed they would be useful for me as an accountability partner. I then repeated the process of listing their unique abilities and measured this against my desired list of qualities. Luckily for me, I identified a potential partner from this list. I immediately contacted them. We discussed the purpose for my call and the journey that I was currently on. I asked them if they would be interested in being my accountability partner for the journey. They were flattered that I asked and stated that they would be delighted to assist me. We the discussed and arranged for an appropriate level of compensation for their time and effort. We then set guidelines for how we would work together so that I would get what I needed. Finally, we set up a set schedule of when we would interact on a consistent basis. The key here is consistency. Both of you must commit to making it happen. If either party fails to commit, you are wasting each other’s time. If you are the person that fails to commit, your partner should let you know this as soon as possible so that the two of you can determine the cause of the problem. Depending upon the reason, you may need to find another partner. Again, this is okay! It is no one’s fault; it is just that you need a more useful partnership.

If you cannot find an accountability partner at this point, you will want to consider using one of the many resources available on the Internet today. There are many established organizations that oversee the certifications and standards for the coaching industry. Some of these organizations include The International Coaching Federation, International Association of Coaches, Coachville, and CMT International. The key here is to continue searching until you find an accountability partner who is right for you.

Let’s review:

1. State your specific goals for each part in a positive manner.
2. Document your goals in your personal contract.
3. Commit to your goals by signing your personal contract.
4. Share your personal contract with an accountability partner.

Congratulations for taking the time to work internally in my prior post! You have now defined “Your Blissful Life” as it pertains to you. It is your unique blissfulness, so no one will have exactly the same definition as you. You have reached a milestone that most people never do. Notice how good you feel at this moment. Revel in it for this is how you will live the rest of your life! See how good it feels to be free? Reward yourself! Treat yourself to a special something for all of your hard work.

You need to do two more things before you begin moving toward “Your Blissful Life.”

First, review all that you have completed so far.
1. Identifying all of your parts
2. Defining what you want your life to be like in each part you identified
3. Ranked your parts in order of importance to you

As you review your accomplishments from each step above, feel free to make any necessary adjustments. This is your personal journey. You are the only person who determines if it fits you. It is very common for people to identify new parts, make deeper discoveries, redefine their parts, and even re-rank their parts. This is yet another sign of the growth and discovery you are experiencing.

Let’s now take another look at your blissful life. Pretend you are in a beautiful, colorful hot air balloon. I am sure that you have seen the awesome pictures from the hot air balloon festival they have in New Mexico every year. They are all different shapes and sizes and come in an infinite number of colors. Close your eyes now and imagine that you are in one of the balloons. Feel the cool breeze on your skin, hear the hot air being blown into the balloon to keep you aloft, look down and see the beautiful landscape around you, beautiful and tranquil, that’s rights, enjoy this experience.. Once you are in the moment, continue reading.

As you float above your blissful life,” take note of everything you see, hear, and all the feelings you are experiencing. Answer the following questions for each individual “part.”

What is different about you?

Are you smiling?

Are you laughing?

How do you feel?

Are you enjoying “Your Blissful Life?”

Repeat this process for each “part” of your blissful life. When you are satisfied with this list, your blissful life is clearly defined.

The second and final step before moving forward is your acceptance of your blissful life. You must be in total agreement with yourself, for every part of yourself, in every feeling about yourself. Allow yourself to experience your newly defined blissfulness.

Once you fully accept your blissful life, you can begin to define a course of action, commit to your course, and achieve your blissful life.

For me, acceptance took some time. It took me many months to give myself permission to truly embrace the life I so desired. I was changing in so many ways and so quickly. I was enjoying it but, at the same time, I was struggling to give myself the permission to seek out my blissful life. There wasn’t a single “Ah-Ha” moment for me here. No, it was the realization that in order to achieve the happiness that I truly desired in my life, I first had to be happy with me. I had accepted that what I wanted for me was okay. Nobody had ever said that to me before—or at least I wasn’t hearing it. It was only after my total acceptance of my blissful life that I was able to continue on my path and take action toward achieving my blissful life.

My next few posts will walk you through the process in order for you to achieve “Your Blissful Life.”