Inform Yourself

Ah the struggle. Certainly we have all, at one time or another experienced “the struggle”. Regardless of age, race, sex, religion or socio-economic status, everyone has experienced “the struggle”. Like good and bad angels on either shoulder pulling us in opposite directions, we are torn. Many people will, without much thought, move on with their lives. Others however, like me, and perhaps yourself, take it deeper. We take it deeper because we feel something different. It is more than just simple thoughts and actions. This “struggle” or “conflict” is rocking us to the core of who we are and for what we stand, our beliefs. It is rocking us to the core because the struggle is a conflict between various aspects of ourselves. These aspects are often times referred to as “parts” or “components of our lives”.

So what exactly is a part or component of our life? Part is the name given to the various components of your life. These components can be either internal or external. Some examples of a part are your significant other, your career, your spiritual self, your friends, your family, etc. In these examples, your significant other is most certainly external to yourself while your spiritual self is internal. You are made up of an infinite number of parts. Parts may also be either conscious or from your sub-conscious mind. So now you know why we can have infinite number of parts. What part of us does the struggle attach itself? Any part and for some, every part! If attached to many parts, the struggle can become overwhelming.

What is your sub-conscious mind? It is that part of your brain that allows you to breathe without thinking about it. Your diaphragm moves up and down forcing air into and out of your lungs. Your mind is on “auto-pilot” when you breathe. Your mind is also on “auto-pilot” when doing common tasks such as placing a key into a door lock. Rarely, if ever, do you have to tell yourself how to put the key in the lock, you just do it.

The most amazing thing about parts is that they are all unique and most importantly, they are you! You define your parts or components and what they mean to you, in your life. You have an infinite number of parts. People have never, ever, run out of parts of themselves.

The emotions that we feel are either more or less useful for us, in our lives, as we see it, or would like it to be. These emotions are our deepest feelings and emotions. “The struggle” begins when the emotions we have tied to each part of ourselves start to conflict with one another.

Those of you dealing with or have dealt with “the struggle” know exactly what I am talking about! The amazing thing about “the struggle” is that it is different and unique for everyone. We all experience different levels of conflict, emotions, behaviors, and most importantly, parts of your life that it is affecting. “The Struggle” becomes very intense when you experience it in multiple parts of yourself at one time. The more “parts” affected, the more intense the struggle. WOW! It is no wonder then why this is so overwhelming and why you are reading this book for assistance in overcoming it.

How do you know if you are dealing with “the struggle”? There are a number of different indicators that tells you know if you are dealing with “the struggle”. You are dealing with “the struggle” if a single part wants two different things for you and you are torn which way to go or what to feel. You are dealing with “the struggle” if you are being pulled by two different parts either in action or emotion. You are dealing with “the struggle” if you feel torn between any two parts of yourself. In every instance, you are the sole person involved. “The struggle” is an internal one. “The struggle” is never external, although external forces may influence it. If you are not at complete and total peace with yourself, you are, in some way, dealing with “the struggle”.

Here is my example:

When I was younger I did not know anything about “the struggle”. However, I felt in many ways that I was different than my friends and family. I was not sure what it was but I knew I was different. I did not concern myself if this difference was right, wrong, good or bad. I just knew what I felt and that it made me different, or more usefully, unique. At this age I did not focus or concentrate on this at all. Years later, during the height of my professional career, I was experiencing much success as part owner of an Information Technology company. We had started and grown the organization from the ground up and received many awards. The awards ranged from community involvement, customer satisfaction, and recognition as one of the fastest growing organizations in the Northeast Ohio region. As I stood in my office one day, it hit me. The thoughts from my youth came racing back into the forefront of my mind, from my sub-conscious to my conscious mind. As much success as I was experiencing, as many awards as we had won, for me, something was missing. Again, I felt different. I should have been ecstatic but something was not quite right. I was not sure what it was or how to discover it! However I was certainly “struggling” with it. My struggle and ultimately, my journey, have led me through much research, learning, and ultimately discovering “My Blissful Life”.

So what is “your struggle”? Be honest with yourself. The journey you are about to embark upon is purely for yourself. It is okay to focus on yourself. Most of us spend most of our time focused on others. This is how we were raised and learned from society. Finally, here is an opportunity to focus on you in discovering and defining “Your Blissful Life”. Once discovered, “Your Blissful Life” will impact every part of your life enabling you to live the life you desire!

Define/name all of your parts that are most important to you right now.

What is “your struggle”?

What parts of you are being affected?

Deep within all of us lies the desire for ultimate happiness in every part of our lives. For years it seemed as though true happiness was out of my reach. Despite all I had achieved, something was still missing: Something was not right. Why wasn’t I happy? The more I focused and the harder I tried to grasp it, the farther it seemed to move away from me.

Does this sound familiar? If it describes the place you are in right now, you know it is a frustrating place. I know, I’ve been there. I call this feeling “the struggle.” The challenge is that you don’t know how to move past it. Until now. Before you can “Live the Life You Love,” you must define what that life is to you. I call it “Your Blissful Life.”

How do you discover Your Blissful Life? There is a systematic approach. This process enabled me to discover my blissful life and it changed me forever. It was so empowering, so freeing, so exhilarating that I must share it with everyone.

Everyone at some point experiences “the struggle.” Regardless of age, race, gender, religion or socio-economic status, we have all experienced the struggle in some area of our lives. However, this struggle is rocking us to the core of who we are. It is rocking us to the core because it is a conflict between various aspects of ourselves. These aspects are often referred to as “parts” or “components” of our lives.

You must unconditionally accept the struggle you are experiencing. Embrace your struggle with all your heart and soul. It is a part of you and it makes you a unique individual. Millions of people around the world are currently experiencing, or will experience, similar thoughts and feelings. Once you finally decide to recognize it and accept the fact that you are in the midst of the struggle, you can begin to move past it. My recognition and acceptance of the struggle gave me the freedom and permission to do so. What does your recognition and acceptance give you?

Your recognition and acceptance enables you to start defining your blissful life. The following process enables you to start on your journey of discovery.

Name all of the parts of your life. Most people immediately identify the more common parts such as father, brother, sister, mother, significant other, career, golfer, bowler, friends, or musician just to name a few. We are all made up of many parts. Simply list them as you identify them. Is there any part that is truly important to you that you have pushed aside?

Which parts are involved in the struggle? It is important to identify these by placing an asterisk next to the name; these are the parts you will want to work with first.

Rank your parts in order of importance to you. This provides you with a clear understanding of what is most important to you. Which part of your life is most important?

Specifically define what you want in each part that you have identified. When I reached this step of the process, I asked myself the question, “What is my ultimate goal for this part?” I then answered it in detail. I described how I would feel once I achieved it, what I and others would be saying about me, and finally, all of the changes I would see. This enables you to clearly define what you want and how you will know when you have achieved it.

You then move on to defining what impact this will have on your life. Note how your life changes when you get exactly what you want. Ask yourself if you are willing to do what it takes to achieve your ultimate goal, no matter what it may be. How badly do you want this for yourself? Finally, how will getting what you want for this part fit in with your other parts? Are there any conflicts? If so, review the parts in conflict until you are satisfied with both goals. I found that there were actually very few conflicts, because when I sat down and focused on what I truly wanted, all of my parts seemed to naturally align themselves.

Congratulations! You have just started your journey towards defining your blissful life! Notice how good you feel at this moment. Multiply this feeling by one million. This is how you will feel when you complete the process for every part.

You can now continue walking toward Your Blissful Life. You must execute a Personal Contract with yourself: a simple, written statement that affirms that you are ready, willing and able to do whatever it takes to get exactly what you want for this part. Stating your goals is dreaming; writing them down and committing to them by using your Personal Contract is called goal setting.

Now that you have committed to your goals, you need to develop your course of action for achieving them. How do you plan to get from your current location to your blissful life? This course will lead you to your promised land. Once you define your path, you will automatically move toward it because the only destination possible is your blissful life. So how do you develop your plan?

You develop your plan by selecting one of your parts and re-reading your goal for it. Now, close your eyes and imagine you have already achieved your goal. Really get into that moment. Hear yourself, see yourself, and notice how good it feels having achieved your goal. Now, as you stand in your moment, look back to now and describe all the actions you took to get to this moment, right here, right now. These actions become your action plan for this part. Repeat this process for every one of your parts.

The final step in the process is action. You must take action in order to achieve your blissful life and live the life you love. If you have had issues with taking action in the past, you will find that it is now easy because you know exactly where you are headed. You are headed toward the destination you desire most, Your Blissful Life!

It has now been three years since I utilized this process. Today my life is filled with so much freedom, happiness and joy that I pinch myself daily. It feels as though I am floating with the clouds. The life that I once thought was unreachable is now alive and well within me. It is within you, too. What is Your Blissful Life?

It is well known than small and medium sized business owners fill many roles within their organizations. This being true, we can also agree that some roles fit them better than others. This holds true for many employees within the small or medium sized organization as well. Far too often people are selected to fill a role simply because they have the available time to handle the role regardless of the skills required for the role.

Does this really help the organization achieve its objective?

Is the business getting maximum return on this asset in this role?

Most times, the answer to above questions is NO! Fitting an available resource in to a role based on availability, actually is undermining the organization. It may undermine the organization in productivity, customer service, quality, culture, and ultimately financial performance.

Business Week Magazine recently published an article on this exact subject. The article presented a number of cases where the business owner filled roles simply out of availability or because friends or family were ready and willing to help. In each instance, each owner discovered that this simple act was actually preventing them from achieving their goals!

Defining the qualities and characteristics of each role within an organization, measuring and quantifying your assets qualities and characteristics, and placing them into roles based on the assessment results is called Workforce Alignment. How well an organization scores on its Workforce Alignment is a key indicator of not just success, but if an organization is positioned for high performance. If the Workforce Alignment score is solid, high performance can be achieved more naturally and with a lower total cost to the organization.

At Imagine Yourself, we recommend that an organization use a good cross-section of assessments to help ensure the best matches. it is important to quantity the characteristics of each asset, as well as HOW they will act, WHAT they will do, WHY they do what they do to ensure that each role is filled with the best matching asset. By utilizing this method, the business owner also learns the key areas of development for each asset as it relates to the role for which they have been selected.

What process do you use to match your assets with the roles defined in your organization?

What is your organizations Workforce Alignment score?

You are probbaly asking yourself, "what in the world is he talking about, get outside to go inside?". Please read on and explore the thought.

Most of us operate on a daily basis within a certain space, be it in our professional or private lives. As a result, we see, hear, feel, and think about our world in repetitive patterns. While our world changes to a certain degree everyday, it remains within a larger pattern that is fairly consistent. Why? Because we are creatures of habit. We enjoy the security of our patterns because we pretty much know what we will get everytime. Our patterns act as a safety net for us. While these patterns keep us safe, they may also be preventing us from reaching your goals both professionally nad personally!

"Get Outside" means to step outside our common patterns of sight, sound, feelings, and thoughts. If your liek most people, you typically deal with daily challenges in our offices, cars, or homes. We pretty much deal with them the same way every time. How has that served you? Do you repeat the same actions all of the time? Are you continuing to make steady progress and growth? If not, get outside! You will be amazed how this simple little change will change the way you see, hear, feel, and think about your challenge! The simple act of "getting outside" will anable you to change your patterns. You will experience your world in a whole new way.

"Getting oustide" enables you to "Go Inside" yourself and tap all of your resources! When you get outide, you leave your patern behind. This enables you to "go inside" yourself and tap the many resources that you have yet rarely utilize. They are within you, just waiting to be called upon to assist you, everyday! Do you permit yourself to tap all of your resources? Do you permit yourself to "get outside" your pattern so you may grow?

When we exit our daily patterns we experience our worlds in a new way. As a result,we learn and grow everyday. This makes us more and more powerful everyday. It also makes us more resourceful everyday as we develop ourselves and hone our unique skills and abilities everyday.

So, I challenge you to "get outside to go inside"!